Does this blog make my butt look big?

For my virgin blogging voyage I've chosen a topic that is very dear to my black heart.  For as long as I can remember my mother has always said that I had a vicious mean streak.  Sometimes it hurt my feelings, other times I would laugh maliciously in my mind and think "you have no idea".  Friends and acquaintances have always considered me to be pretty funny.  I have actually made two people wet themselves in fits of uncontrollable laughter.  Yes, I know, pretty awesome.  I have in fact nearly wet MYSELF because I was so funny.  That's real.  I've come to realize though that there is truth in my mothers words.  Much of my humor is based on making fun of people.  (which I'm sure will be apparent in blogs to come)  I often find humor humor in everyday human nature. What do we have if we can't make fun of ourselves as a faulted species. The difficult part comes when its not so funny.  Sometimes I feel like I'm the icecream man and everyone comes up to my truck ordering an ice cream sundae....but  they are sure to remind me to add the cherry on top because they can't handle it otherwise.  Or maybe I have a hotdog stand on the corner of a busy city street and everyone that orders a hotdog asks me to sugar coat it because they don't want to really know what they are eating.  I don't know.....maybe my mom's completely right...am I the only one who gets sick of walking on eggshells?  Especially lately, I find that I have a significantly difficult time not saying "Do you really need to ask if those pants make you look fat?"  I know that blatant truth isn't always appropriate but sugarcoating should be equally as inappropriate sometimes.  I was watching an episode of What Not To Wear today and this 36 year old mother of two was on it.  She entered the 360 mirror with this faded camo t-shirt and some stretch jeans that were so tight I felt constricted.  The thing that bothered me was that  Stacey and Clinton said "sometimes a stretch jean isn't appropriate and this faded part here draws attention to parts you don't really want attention drawn to."  I'm sorry.  All I could focus on was the fact that this chick had a camel toe so huge, so obvious, that she could easily cross the Sahara desert in about 5 steps with it.  (The real problem doesn't lie with how we look btw.....that's just the funny part.)    I think this sugar coating expectancy....ie sickness... begins when we are developing in childhood.  Sometimes I feel my eye twitch at the 20th time Marley says watch me do this.  I don't get annoyed at her wanting me to watch her.....it's the obvious fact that she wants me to compliment her everytime.  As I say "wow marley!  That was awesome!"  I hear myself scream in my head "Well woopidy doo you dribbled the ball 4 times in a row!   Come back when you shoot a 3 pointer"  hehe.  Maybe this makes me a terrible mother or a terrible person but I can't help but feel like sometimes we just need to be told the truth.  Myself included.  What a breath of fresh air it would be if we could just be truly honest with each other once in a while without having to back it up with "but you've got a great personality!!!!"...or some crap.  Here's hoping