Operator....I need a line to Norman Rockwell

I am a dying breed of people who still have vague memories of the rotary phone.  I have actually used one to call someone!  (So amazing since I am only 29.)  If memory serves, we had one at the Karen Circle house.  Then of course we upgraded to a corded touch tone....from there the cord was elongated to reach the span of our entire kitchen and dining room.  Then the cordless phone, and on from there.  I'm not writing to give a techy history lesson from rotary to motorolla, however.  Sorry.  I am writing because I am sick of never being unavailable.  We are NEVER unavailable anymore.  If we just take it from corded touch tone.......One nap at a time, (my nephews version of once upon a time) we set out a time to correspond with friends/family via telephone.  Most of the time the phone was in the kitchen and on a short leash.  I remember my mother would sit at the kitchen table with her Marlboro and Maxwell House and chat with whomever for 30/45 minutes.  Then, however, it was the inevitable "Gotta go get the laundry done" or other various and sundry yet very true reasons.  Then came the cordless.  That beautiful, large and heavy ticket to chore freedom.  With a press of a button and that moment when your hand reaches to extend that glorious bright silver antennae like Harry Potter with neon pumps and feathered hair.  You reach for your wand, you extend and EXPELLIAMUS!!!!  You are magically whisked away to a nirvana where you can make dinner, do the dishes, bath the kids, watch tv and fold the laundry all while in nonstop conversation with Tiffany who thinks her boyfriends, brothers, uncles, dad might really be a woman.  Still, Tiff would have to cut the conversation short if you had to run any errands outside of the home.  To cut this short we'll time warp to more present......  Then came the cell phone. (insert darth vadar theme music)  This was the invention to end all inventions right!!!!!  We would never miss a call!!!  Never miss a bit of gossip or news!!  We could now not only do the dishes, cook the dinner, bath the kids, watch tv, and fold the laundry whilst on the phone......we have added putting the kids in the car, grocery shopping, driving/navigating, getting the kids out of the car, being in the office, being out of the office, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc!!!!!!!!   Who's sick idea was this?  A relative of Snooki's no doubt.  I personally can't take it anymore.  I am never unavailable!!!  Upon answering a call from a friend of mine the other day, she said "wow!  I can't believe it!  It's like talking to a celebrity!  You never answer your phone...you always call me back."  I know she was joking and I hope she doesn't take offense to this because its not meant to be a zing towards her but.......think about it.  Generally speaking, the expectation is there.  It almost seems flakey that I don't have my phone on me at all times....like a gun in its holster ready to Aaron Burr your Andrew Jackson.  Another person once commented that I don't always reply to texts.  To me this makes sense because not every text merits a response.  Sometimes it just seems like a statement.   To said person, however, it seems like I am ignoring them.......text etiquette.   Please believe I love and appreciate all my friends and family but sometimes  you are just trying to take a drive and relax......you've got the Allman Brothers playing, your kid comments on how Little Martha is her theme song and the North Georgia mountains are all around you.   AAAAH!!! (a sigh of relief)   Then your phone rings. You pick it up.  In the span of five minutes you receive 4 text messages from someone else while you are on the phone and your email announcement beeps 3 times in your ear graciously letting you know each time you get some spam about American Intercontinental University!  When was the last time someone sat and watched the sunset without having to take a picture of it with their iphone and post it to facebook while simultaneously writing...."watching the sunset!" as a status update.  I spose that I'm getting away from my telephone specific rant but it all blends perfectly.  Its all a part of our constant availability.  Watch, people will be offended thinking it is a direct jab at them and stop calling or texting me.  Or they won't answer my calls or texts and say "I was unavailable".  That's not the point though.  The point is that although cell phone are life savers say, if you get lost......sometimes thats exactly what you want to do. (or should do)   Those times of being lost or alone or even just quiet are important.  Its important to be unavailable!!!  Plus, have you ever tried pushing a cart through the grocery store while on the phone?  Exactly........